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"Any idiot can survive a crisis; it's the day-to-day living that wears you down."
- Anton Chekhov
- Anton Chekhov
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Our adoption journey led us to Murmansk, Russia, where in December 2004, we adopted our 2 wonderful children, thanks
to KidsFirst Adoption agency and Frank Foundation.
Required Reading:
A Love Like No Other: Stories From Adoptive Parents, ed. by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe
(excellent adoption accounts)
A World of Love by Maggie Francis Conroy (out-of-print, available for pennies on amazon.com)
(true story of one couple with a biological daughter that then adopted 3 children from different countries)
Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel A. Hughes
(an amazingly readable portrait that shows why a child may develop an attachment disorder, what the result it, and how
to start fixing it)
LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child by Beth O'Malley (excellent motivation
to get you started on creating a lifebook, including examples to base yours on!)
Your __ Year-Old by Louise Bates Ames (i.e., Your One-Year-Old : The Fun-Loving, Fussy
12-To 24-Month-Old; Your Two-Year-Old : Terrible or Tender; Your Three-Year-Old : Friend or Enemy) (really helps a first-time
parent get a handle on what is 'normal')
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
(a method for parents to improve family relationships and communication)
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Our Wonderful Adoption Agency: Things to do while you're waiting:
1) Read, Read, Read!
I have included my recommended list of required reading to the left.
2) Prepare your House
Take child safety seriously. Make sure that EVERY outlet has an outlet protector
on it. Install a good lock on your medicine cabinet. It may look strange to have a padlocked medicine cabinet, but it's
better than your child standing on the toilet, getting around the child lock, opening the medicine cabinet, and getting pills
out of a bottle with a "child safety" cap. Our's did just that. Be warned.
Don't stock your new child's room with any family heirlooms - there is plenty of
time for that later and you don't want to be stressed about your child destroying something precious. If you have hardwood
floors like we do, get rugs around your child's bed if your child going to be in a bed instead of a crib. Make sure
you have a footstool for her to reach the sink and toilet. Get a nightlight that is more durable than pretty -
we have beautiful little nightlights that automatically turned on when the room got dark and our kids were so
totally fascinated by that concept that they destroyed the nightlights within a matter of hours! :)
There are durable goods that you know you will need - things like toilet paper and
paper towels and cans of soup and applesauce and children's fever reduction medicine. Once you bring your child(ren)
home, things will get so hectic that even a trip to the store may seem ambitious!
3) Get Organized for the Trip Overseas
(A) Get a disposable camera for the
orphanage staff to use to take pictures
of your child(ren) during the 2 trips and also a small notebook in which orphanage staff and children can write or draw farewell pictures for your child(ren). (B) Prepare photo albums to take overseas when you first meet your child(ren). Get an album that can take a little wear and tear and isn't too fancy. I loved the ones I got from Pioneer photo albums on line at www.pfile.com/pioneer. Go down the page a little to the "cheap photo albums" and look at the Pioneer I-46 Photo Album. Try to label each picture in English and Russian. You can use the First 1000 Words in Russian or the Russian in 10 Minutes a Day or similar books to get the cyrillic spelling for the rooms of your house. This allows the caretakers of your child to go through the photo album with the child and tell him what he's looking at. Include photos of your house, everyday activities, and key family members only.
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