© Port Whitman Times 2007
PORT WHITMAN: Robert M. Seyboldt, of PW's Bricktowne Section, has won the 1986 Manfred St¦ndel Power Prize for his invention of Static Sidewalks, which will, within 10 years, supply free power for all of PW's electric needs, including heat, light and most industrial uses, free to resident taxpayers.
According to Assistant Mayor Charles Conti, and by recent ordinance of the city council, PW sidewalks will henceforth be made of Boldtane, a material to absorb an electric charge, while taxpayers' shoes, will be soled with Boldtrex, a corresponding material to impart that charge, to the sidewalks by walking Port Whitmanites. Citizens will be encouraged to shuffle as they walk, to increase the amount of charge transmitted to the system, and the energy will be transmitted to underground acid storage modules at the old PW Arbuckle coal mines.
John P. Kitchen, Professor Laureate of the PW Inst. of Technology, expressed relief that his invention of Static Electricity Storage Modules would, after several decades, finally be put to constructive use, having previously been employed as everything from swamp mines in Viet Nam to traps for Alaskan wildlife by poachers who lifted the technology from the U.S. military.
The Public Works Dept. of the city, has scheduled installation of the sidewalks, which will be laid on top of concrete or brick already down, to begin within 6 months, with the mayor laying the first section, and Hyde Shoes of the city, has already begun manufacturing the material for the shoe soles, having leased manufacturing technology from Seyboldt prior to completion of working models.