Stalking is about domination. It is one or more persons continually making efforts to control another person’s life and thoughts by paying unwanted attention. Stalkers become obsessive investigators, interrogators, intimidators and terrorists. According to current statistics, almost a million and a half people are being stalked by an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife, estranged husband, estranged wife, secret admirer, or an infatuated mentally unstable individual. 

Celebrities and everyday people are potential victims of the stalker. Stalking is when someone contacts you when you repeatedly request that they do not. They watch, follow, call, email, fax or continually send mail to you after you request they do not. Stalking is psychological terror. They make you a prisoner in your own life. They make it known that they know where you have been, whom you have spoken to, what you have done and where you are going next. They insist that they cannot live without you and you cannot live without them. Here are a few things to consider. 

1. Red Flags; signs that you are being stalked include; an obsessive relationship that continues after the victim requests it does not, which includes; repeated contact of you, friends, family or work, following, threats, vandalism, dead or missing pets or an assault on the victim. 

2. Warning Signals; when your intuition is telling you something is wrong immediately respond. When the red flags become obvious it might be too late. The moment things start to go wrong respond with stated boundaries and call it quits.  

3. Ending a relationship; most stalkers have had some form of an emotional relationship with the victim. When the victim requests that the relationship must end, do it sternly and efficiently and make your feelings known. Stringing the stalker along only gives them hope and sends mixed signals. They will misconstrue your words and find hope in their meaning. 

4. Final Words; once you have ended the relationship and the stalker continues to make contact, under no circumstances do you respond. Emotions can eventually fade away, however, if you respond after a month of being contacted, you give the stalker their emotional fix and then they want more. More is never enough for the stalker.  

5. Begging; trying to reason with, pleading and requesting the mercy of the stalker only empowers them and gives them the feeling of being in control of your life. Under no circumstances do you respond and especially respond with begging, pleading or their mercy. Never try to rationalize with irrational people. 

6. Home Security; If their was ever a time to install an alarm it is when you are being stalked. Make sure it is monitored by local law enforcement and keep it on while you are home during the day and when you sleep at night. Wireless alarms can be installed quickly and there are no phone lines to cut. 

7. Dogs; this is also a good time to get a vicious dog. With little research a fully-grown Doberman, Pit-bull, German Shepard, Rotweiler or any other dog trained to kill can be a lifesaver. There are many outfits that will rent you a guard dog while you are in jeopardy. 

8. Friends and Family; make sure you notify friends, family, neighbors, co-workers and local businesses who you are a customer of and acquainted with what your situation is and show photos of the stalker. Your circle of relationships might be a significant factor in staying safe.  

9. Self Defense; knowing how to disable an attacker armed or unarmed should be a staple of everyday living. When you are being stalked you are essentially at war and need to understand the fundamentals of armed and unarmed combat. Once you have the tools to debilitate another human being, that’s when you decide if carrying a weapon is appropriate.

      Get Firearms Training;  The probability of serious 

      injury from an attack is 2.5 times greater for women

      offering no resistance than for women resisting with

      a gun. When a woman is armed with a gun or knife,

      only 3% of rape attacks are completed, compared to

      32% when unarmed.

10. Self Care; these are extremely emotional times. Sleep deprivation, starvation, anxiety, and a number of physical and emotional anomalies are side effects of being stalked. Seek professional help and maintain as much personal balance as possible. 

11. Documentation; experts disagree on if a restraining order is a helpful or hurtful tool when being stalked. The introduction of a restraining order can emotionally charge your stalker or give them the warning to back off. Either way, a paper trail of all events and proper reporting of each incident will serve as a back up in the event that you kill your attacker in self-defense. Have a lawyer or even yourself send certified letters requesting a seize and desist of communications. Too many people serve jail time as a result of killing their attacker in self-defense because they have not documented their obsessed stalkers attempts at disrupting their life.

    Remember, Stalkers are like bullies in that they specialize in picking on people who won't call for help -- for whatever reason. They also specialize in picking on people who just want the problem to go away. And they especially like picking on people who -- no matter how competent they are normally --  are at a loss what to do when the social rules are violated. In other words people who will not mount an effective counter-offensive. 

    They are however, like cockroaches, in that they cannot withstand their actions being seen in the light.  Calling in help, flicks the light on -- and EVERYBODY is watching him. The smart ones end up scurrying to for cover, the dumb ones end up squished.

    Go to the police, go to a lawyer,  go to child and family services at the court. Go to family, friends, co-workers, your boss and neighbors and let them know what is going on.  These people will watch your back for you and are an important step in creating both an early warning system for you and witnesses. But the first place you need to take a trip to is the local women's crisis center. The hotline number is in the phone book. There for the asking is all kinds of free information on how to deal with this problem.