The Definitive Guide on
How to Act When you are 60+ Years
Old
Working
today past the age of 60 is truly working in a young man’s world.
I have been told on numerous occasions that I don’t
act like a 60 + year old. My retort has always been,
“I haven’t read the book. How is a 60 year old man supposed to act?”
Never one to miss a golden opportunity; I am taking the bull by the horns
and writing this ‘book’ myself. Well, actually, my wife (Judy) is writing it
for me…but they are my words!
Stay off the Roof!
“I reckon that I made my mistake for
2008 by falling off the roof...
I feel pretty good this morning, not
near as stiff as I thought that I would be.
The Doctor at the hospital said that
I should take it easy for a day or two. The only tell tale signs are the 3”- 4” abrasion circle on my head and the DUCK TAPE
that I placed on the spa cover. The chest x-ray, blood work, EKG, and CAT scan of my head and neck all came back OK.
That will be the last time that I bend
over to pick up branches from the roof…..as I did that gravity took over and I fell onto the spa cover and bounced onto the
patio where I was thinking, “This is not good”. I got up and sat in a chair that was very close to me. Then I called Judy
on her cell to let her know that she should come to the spa patio. She had been sitting on the front porch in case I had needed
something when I was up on the 2nd floor roof installing hangers on the gutters. That job went without any trouble—good
thing, that would have been worst fall into the front garden. The rest is history---lots of folks in the back yard-Fire dept-Rescue
squad-neighbors and then to the hospital. I feel very blessed that we live where we do and everything is close by. The fall
occurred at 1430 and by 1930 Judy and I were at Rite Aid getting my pain pills.
All this typing is making me tired –
wearing out my two fingers.”
No amount of badgering on the part of the wife or friends or neighbors can issue rules for being 60+. Experience is the only teacher. So, being a quick learner
I have decided that Rule #1 for the Guide to How to Act when one is Over 60 Years Old should be ‘STAY OFF THE ROOF!”
Retirement Job
Retirement job is an oxymoron. For years we have had fun talking
about what ‘we’ would like to do when Len retires. The first job I remember was
when we were in Yellowstone National Park and we found out that the folks that worked in the stores within the park were from
all over the United States and they spent the summer working in the park. Visiting
with the visitors and having a great social time for (what seemed to us at the time) very little work.
We have rejected too many for various reasons. Such as: You have
to get up too early in the morning; You have to work too late at night; You have to stand up all day; You can’t take a vacation
whenever you want; things like that!
Len has (in his own way) offended many folks over the years who have jobs piloting boats. These always seemed like great “Retirement Jobs” to him. The
jet boat to Macanaw Island – that man was highly offended – “Do you know how much training I had to have to get this job?”
He rejected being a Walmart greeter. Can you imagine actually welcoming people
to Wallmarts all day long? He couldn’t!!!
So the following have become our requirements for a “Retirement Job”:
1. It would greatly help if you were paid under the table
so you could still collect your full Social Security checks.
2. If the weather is nasty you don’t have to go to work.
3. You could take off as many times a year as you want for as long as 5 weeks at a time and still
be assured of having a job when you return.
4. The job must create absolutely no pressure at all.
5. Those who work with you would consider you a valuable member of their social club.
6. Absolutely no night hours required….ever!
7. Judy can tag along if she wants to. (She doesn’t have
to be paid)
8. Spelling can’t count!
Retirement is Dangerous!
Wouldn’t you think that when you retire and are able to
travel on days other than the weekend that 1) traffic would be less and 2) it would therefore be safer to drive?
Well, traffic does seem less but it is not necessarily safer. Perhaps I should tell you about it…
Interstate 95 to Interstate 64 is the route north out of the Tidewater region that we live in. During the week it is busy – during the weekend it is like driving the Indy 500 with trucks, SUVs and sports
cars all driving around 80 MPH. It is not the speed that is so bad (our Yukon
can handle it) but it is the weaving in and out that cars and trucks do that drives me insane.
Being cut off while driving 75 MPH is not my idea of fun! So my Mr. does
most of the driving. He just sorta takes it in stride – amazing man that he is! Oh, back to the story…
Traffic was light. We’re cruising along about 70 MPH and bang! I mean BANG!!!
Stuff goes flying past and I start looking for what hit
us. You know those covers that are supposed to be on dump trucks when they are
on the highway? Well, they aren’t ‘required’ to cover empty trucks. But the trucks are NEVER truly empty! The stuff flying out
of this empty truck and bouncing off the road must be what it is like to fly through a meteor shower. (and Han Solo I am not!) Whatever it was, it hit the front
windshield right above the rear view mirror and actually went through the glass.
I could hear the Denali yelling at us, “Why can’t I just stay in the garage?”
You take me out and I get pelted by hale. You take me out and I get stoned. I
wanna stay home!” I try to convince it that nothing stays new
forever! It doesn’t seem to want to listen to me.
So
today I am waiting for the glass folks to come to the house and replace the front windshield.
Did you know that they come right to your house? OK, I know that is why
you have car insurance, but I sure hope that this seal is as good as a factory seal.
I’ve already had to drive a vehicle with a windshield that drips on the inside and I don’t want to repeat that experience.
