Les Bizarrables

By Brian Rapp

I Schemed a Scheme

DAUNTINE:
There was a time when horndogs howled,
When their email was lewd,
And their offers salacious.
There was a newsfroup that I prowled,
Seeking prey for my lust,
And my lust was rapacious.
There was a time...
Then it all went wrong.
I schemed a scheme in time gone by,
When life was full of controversy.
I schemed to make the horndogs cry.
I schemed to make them beg for mercy.
Then I was young and inconnue,
And prey was chased and snared and tasted.
They were so easy to pursue,
And not a drop of blood was wasted.
But my sisters draw their gaze,
With their scent glands and their purring.
Now the horndogs spurn my bait,
And my scheming turns to shame.
They fell by dozens to my sting,
Never quailing or demurring.
But then survivors fled to sing,
My reputation to defame.
And still I fight against ennui,
And I refurbish my dentition.
But there are schemes that cannot be,
And those immune to acquisition.
I had a scheme to bring me pups
So different from these blase bassets
So unpossessed of self esteem.
Now circumstance has foiled my scheme.