What? More Aphorisms?

When hospitals become places where mentally ill people are punished and tortured by ego tripping doctors, no wonder they are places where innocent babies are killed.

What? Only babies killed? I've almost bit the dust four times because of drugs given me by doctors, when I begged not to have to take them.

Perhaps humility for the average Joe, like me, is simply doing what one must.

Close attention does not inflate us, it makes us more humble

because we cannot do what we want, rather what we should.

Humility is perhaps easier when one has a lot to do.

God has so much to do that he forgets if he has an ego or not.

The more engrossed you are in your work, the less time you have to worry about whether you are celebrated for it or not.

Why is it that the ones who study illnesses make more money than the ones who suffer from them?

Why would anyone willingly go back to a place where most of their teeth were punched out, even if it is a hospital?

"People who do not understand your using 'Unchained Melody' to depict my love for people just do not understand how much I love them," said Jesus, "and that, no matter what I do, is very common, especially among high class people."

"Some rich people think they deserve to be rich because they work hard," said Jesus. "But hard work has nothing to do with being rich, because the poor work just as hard."

The real victory over Christ is not Satanism, but rather Judaism.

What group of people had God do as much for them within a few seconds? The Jews.

What did Jesus really do for them Catholics? A lot of bull! Compared to what I AM did for the Jews...

What caused Mother Nature the most trouble after the death of Christ? Man killing God, or God asking man to eat God?

Confession is an awful letdown for a people expecting a great king coming to take away the sins of the world.

Jesus is a suicide - he want us to kill him by mastication every time the Catholics celebrate the mass! No wonder the Jews called him a blasphemer!

The most that Christianity can do for its people is to lull them into a kind of blindness of their earthly misery and what Jesus really was - a weirdo! Not even a guru would tell you to eat him?...

So - why did Peter deny Jesus? Things were becoming all too freaky for words! Why die for what all his life and training told him was a blasphemer?

A Doctor of the Church should be someone who tells the truth about Christ, no matter how hard it is for Catholics to take.

What was going on inside the apostles' minds at the Last Supper? "Oh, my God, I just ate God - I think I'd better have some Pepto Bismol and go and lie down!"

"There I was, reading Anton La Vey's 'Satan Speaks!' and in the midst of what he wrote I found you, Jesus!" said the anchorite. "Why and how, people may ask - but he was trying his hardest to tell the truth - and what are you, Jesus, but the Way, the Truth and the Life?"

"Don't fret, my dear anchorite! You will meet Anton La Vey one day in Heaven," said Jesus, "or at least as soon as you both get there. He was honest. He based his whole philosophy on realism - it does make sense to think that all one does after death is rot, if one doesn't have the gift of faith!"

"Even when you were on that Satanic network, dear anchorite, you spoke of love," said Jesus, "though you knew you would be scorned because of it. Even Satanists inspire love in you!" "People are people," said the anchorite, reaching out to hug Jesus.

Thinking preserves the human race, and is one of the most important members of the human body.

WE ARE BACK TOGETHER - TAKE MY HUSBAND, PLEASE TAKE MY HUSBAND IN THE EUCHARIST OR ANY OLD WAY!

"All you had to do was to put the espousal ring back on!" said Jesus, doing a back flip. "I keep running into you everywhere I go," said Sister Mary Victora drily. "I just can't seem to get away from my destiny." "Ah-ha - La Forza del Destino!" laughed Jesus. "Publicity won me another wife!"

"You know what, Jesus? Now the espousal ring is just too tight to take off!" said Sister Mary Victoria joyfully. "It was made for me!" "Just like you are made for me!" said Jesus, with stars in his eyes.

"John the Baptist stayed years alone in the desert," said Jesus, "and still the Protestants don't understand the vocation of hermits and monks. He, Judith, Elijah, Moses, Samuel, among others, were born to complete their missions - but it was solitude in the Lord that made them possible."

"Solitude in the Lord leads to a deeper faith because when one is alone with God," said Jesus, "God becomes so real that he is more real to the hermit than people."

"Solitude in the Lord leads to a deeper hope," said Jesus, "because when one is often in the society of God, one comes to believe in the promises of God as if they were already true."

"Solitude in the Lord leads to a deeper love because all the natural outlets for love are frustrated except those for God," said Jesus, "and when they do come out, when the hermit is with people, the love is more intense and yet more chaste."

"Charles Stanley spoke of the benefits of solitude," said Sister Mary Victoria. "While I don't remember exactly all he said, he said some things I don't even think the Catholics understand yet." "You will meet him one day, if only in Heaven - and you will be great friends," said Jesus.

"I want to be a volunteer again, Jesus!" begged Sister Mary Victoria. "No - I see you are already burning the candle at both ends - you would just wear yourself out and get sick," said Jesus. "You are almost as devoted as Father Augustus Tolton, who died of exhaustion."

"Thanks for letting me have flexible hours, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "I've got the best job in the world!" "Yeah, and I got a promotion, too - I don't have to work in wood anymore!" laughed Jesus.

"You wield that crucifix like a sword, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus, not without humor. "You and Father Pablo Straub." "Yeah - and my shield is a Miraculous Medal," said Sister Mary Victoria drily.

Right after the mass, everyone is talking and laughing and hugging one another - even though the King of Heaven and Earth is there! The very fact that he allows all this shows his great humility!

Perhaps the reason why God did not introduce himself as a Trinity to the Jews on Mount Sinai was because they already had so much to absorb. Even today we do not quite understand it -

"I feel so comfortable around you, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "And yet - you are so incredibly majestic and great!" "I speak differently to each one of my children - you already know more than most how great I really am, so I treat you like the other one of an old pair of shoes..."

When one is a child, one's parents must often be stern and distant, if loving. By the time one is grown, they are practically friends with you - and so with the progression of the relationship between God and his people, individually and as a group.

All St. Therese of Lisieux wanted to do was fall asleep like a child in the Lord's arms. Such confidence and closeness appeal to a God who is often held at a distance!

"I've had it with Satanism - but not Satanists!" said Sister Mary Victoria. "I'd still invite one over for a good meal!" "So would I - and I'd take all the abuse and Tums, too!" laughed Jesus. "Nothing they say is as bad as what the Romans said during my Passion! Not to mention Satan himself!"

"Why don't the Satanists believe in Satan?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Because they wouldn't know how to deal with a chap like him," said Jesus. "No matter what they say, they have not got the guts to actually go to Hell on purpose! They just don't know how bad it really is!"

"Have any Satanists gone to Hell? Or to Heaven, for that matter?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "I am not allowed to say that," said Jesus. "Know this much - for stubborn people like that, I judge them mostly by their deeds..."

"Most of Satanism is a lot of trumpeting, cursing, strutting and fretting," said Jesus. "I don't really take it all too seriously. Its shock value has sent a lot of Christians back to the Church, so it isn't all bad...and Anton La Vey, founder of the Church of Satan, was more moral than a lot of Catholics!"

"You are really a nice person, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "Your honesty amazes me, and even when your humor is dark, it is funny." "And now, more people love me - that could only come as a gift from you, Jesus!" said Sister. "You've warmed a lot of cold hearts for me!"

"You make me see who I really am in a whole new way for the Church!" said Jesus. "I never thought I was interesting or comfortable or even nice before. And I never knew that anyone would think I am funny, although when I was alive, I did a lot of clowning!"

"I could never see how my asking people to pluck out their eyes could be taken so seriously," said Jesus, "and some humorless saints took me literally! It was only when I said 'Amen, Amen' that I was meaning anything literally!"

"I even was laughing when I said 'Woe!' sometimes!" said Jesus sadly. "And they took it to mean I was a prophet of doom! I was being absurd when I said I came with the sword to divide - showing the utter irony of preaching love and brotherhood and the ridiculousness of the end result! I said that at the end of a very bad day!"

"You know, Sister Mary Victoria, I think you understand me better than many a saint before you," said Jesus. "As time goes by, I am better and better understood, and it is a wonderful feeling. I thought no one would find a way again after Mother Teresa of Calcutta. And you don't even have to leave home!"

"I wanted to be a missionary of Charity, in Mother Teresa's order," wept Sister Mary Victoria. "But you found your own special way, Sister. It was not my will, and you accept that - but that kind of pain doesn't go away until you are in Heaven. Just know that you can console anyone from where you are, anyone in the world!" said Jesus.

"You will not live to see your complete impact upon the world," said Jesus. "But then, no one does."

"I didn't do much. Without the people in my neighborhood, I could have done practically nothing," said

Sister Mary Victoria. "That is why I didn't want to leave them; they are and always will be fertile ground for the little mustard seeds in my mind."

"You really do love the Protestants, too!" laughed Jesus. "They are my beloveds as well, and in some ways, I wish the Catholic Church would be far more open to them. They don't have the antiquity, but they have enthusiasm and great love!"

"Walter Hawkins, a pastor and composer of gospel music, writes without error for the most part," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Wouldn't you say, Jesus?" "Yes - and I wish you could introduce him further to Catholics, as well as introducing John Michael Talbot to Protestants. But guess what? You already have..."

"Don't do mass angry," said Jesus. "Don't bring everybody down, don't bring everybody down...or else count to ten before you go in."

"The Jansenists, although heretical all in all, had some good ideas," said Jesus. "Daily mass is not necessary. Go when you are not contagious, when there is no mortal sin on your soul and when you really want to celebrate, and then you don't bring everybody down..."

"If things are going well or any way at all, go to daily mass," said Jesus. "But I don't want you going there unless you can get back safe and sound - eschew night masses unless you have a car or a ride - I want no crime victims because of my sacrifice."

"The Protestants can wail and holler to let go of their misery, but there is no place for that in the mass," said Jesus. "But consider going on a retreat when you have chronic bad emotions in your heart, and find peace there."

"John Michael Talbot is a saint, in my estimation," said Sister Mary Victoria, "what with all those millions of dollars he gives away from his concerts and record sales!" "You, too, seem impartial completely to money - for you, if it is not spent for good things, it is useless!"

"Don't believe that those people who were going to make you an instant saint have the final authority," said Jesus. "One must have finished one's course on Earth before that can be established for sure - and then, it is up to us, the Eternal Triune God, not man."

The idea that St. Therese of Lisieux would be a saint was preposterous at her death; and it took nine years before a miracle by her intercession even happened at all.

"The Blessed Virgin Mary is so far above me, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria, "that I can scarcely attain gratitude of the gift of herself to me. How then, can I attain to the knowledge of the mystery of your love?"

Mary, pierced by a sword almost unto death, and then broken in death before the Assumption, like Lazarus, "died" twice - as did Jesus, who nearly died in Gethsemane, and then actually did upon the cross.

Whenever I hear the rosary, I hear a gentle hum, like that of Mary singing me to sleep.

It was Mother Mary who led me into the Church; the rustle of her garments were in that hush of silence under the chanting of the rosary that day when I first experienced the love of God in the Most Blessed Sacrament.

I love my biological mother; but I also love the mother of my salvation, the Blessed Virgin Mary. For without her, I would have no hope but Hell.

Let your only taproot be not on Earth, but in Heaven, for there your rest is guaranteed to be eternal.

Study a child and you have studied the future.

Study the elderly and you won't make the same mistakes they did.

Study the middleaged and see the agony of knowing too much and yet too little at the same time.

Study adolescents and see what new rebellions will be a cliche fifty years from now.

"I have no friends in the Catholic Church," said Sister Mary Victoria. "I had none either when I was alive - all my so-called friends abandoned me when I was in the pits, even the future pope. Don't expect anything and then you won't be disappointed," said Jesus. "You have me."

"Even my mother nearly gagged when she saw me on the Via Dolorosa," said Jesus. "Only Veronica would wipe the spittle off my face. Most saints are victim souls. Even Mother Teresa of Calcutta did not like the way she was treated - she was embarrrassed by all the photographers because she thought she was ugly."

"If you stay with me, you will be glorified one day," said Jesus. "If you marry and become an opera star, you will hardly be remembered because you are no Joan Sutherland. But you are exceptional, even among the saints. Your writing alone is worthy of your being a Doctor of the Church."

"Yes, opera is beautiful, and marriage can be a blessed state," said Jesus. "But for you to give up now when you are only ten years into your vows would be farcical - give things a chance."

"Remember - Mother Teresa of Calcutta had to wait 20 years before she was given approval for her new order, the Missionaries of Charity," said Jesus. "She was an old woman before anyone even really noticed her - the Church usually moves rather slowly. Patient endurance will obtain everything."

If people would only stop thinking about the goodness of Heaven, they would not think that God is a nice guy - Calcutta without Heaven beyond it is nothing but Hell.

"So, you have left me for good," said Jesus. "No, not really - I still love you," said Sister Mary Victoria. "But I just don't fit into the Catholic Church, based on the people I have known there - and I don't want a lot of honors and posthumous praise from people who were cruel to me while I was on Earth."

"So - you are a Taoist? A Buddhist? What?" asked Jesus. "I am myself admiring a lot of people who may be in other religious traditions," said Sister Mary Victoria. "And I want to be free of any obligation towards the Catholic Church as far as going to mass is concerned. Call me - Vicki."

"You don't care that I am alone, do you, Jesus?" asked Vicki. "I won't try to be your canonized saint anymore." "I am sorry," said Jesus incredulously. "I took you for granted. There is really no one here at the site of your crucifixion for you, and it won't end this side of Heaven."

"I'll never get out of this hellhole that is my life," said Vicki. "You will still go to highest Heaven, even though you might not be canonized. I am a cruel God to you now - just as I was to Sister Josefa Menendez in 'The Way of Divine Love'. Things will probably get worse for you."

"Why will I go to highest Heaven?" asked Vicki. "Because you still love everyone, especially me," said Jesus, "and no one is really doing anything special for you, not even me."

"I allowed your contact Suzanne not to attend mass because she was not welcome," said Jesus. "Take as much time off as you see fit - but listen on the radio every day, and you will be in my favor. I am speaking universally, even in this aphorism."

"Be a good volunteer, now," said Jesus, "and for you, that is worth a thousand masses, because I know you will be just like Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. And remember - you are not popular enough to be canonized, but often I put those who get no honors first in the Kingdom."

"I like the little guys who are very ordinary and do nothing special better," said Jesus, "which is why whenever someone was considered for canonization within his life, he dreaded it, because honors to me mean nothing."

"I hate to burst your bubble," said Jesus, "but Mother Teresa was no better than your average nurse. And many of her sisters are going higher in Heaven because they decided to remain non-entities within her gigantic shadow..."

"Okay, okay - I will stay Sister Mary Victoria, as long as I am on Earth," said Sister Mary Victoria. "I'll just go about my business and do what I can, but I won't try to be a saint anymore." "That is what I did - I humbled myself and became a slave more than a king..." said Jesus.

"Why don't you want to wear your veil?" asked Jesus. "Because I am vain and would rather show my pretty hair and my tiara," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Women! I gotta work on you!" said Jesus pointedly.

"Nobody else around here wears a veil!" blasted Sister Mary Victoria. "Sometimes I feel like a fool!" "Yeah, and sometimes I felt like a motherless child," said Jesus sadly.

"I want to look like everybody else," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Alright, alright - but you never will anyway, because you, too, are unique - dreams of love follow you wherever you go!"

"Why Taoism?" asked Jesus. "It is different, so different from Western culture," said Sister Mary Victoria, "and I could use some fresh air. Speaking of fresh air, when was the last time they aired out that chapel? No wonder I feel dizzy in there - there's no oxygen!"

When you are afraid that something bad might happen, offer it up to Jesus in all its gory details, and it probably won't happen - he doesn't like people to be able to tell the future.

"I want all religious to wear their veils," said Jesus. "Set an example for those lukewarm sisters." "Okay, Jesus, I'll wash it today, and wear it tomorrow. And you, promise to show up at my wedding in Heaven in a tux, and it's a deal," said Sister Mary Victoria.

"You can be a saint and have peace surround you," said Jesus. "It is not all struggling and straining. Just relax and be yourself." "Well, then, I'll be at church on Easter Sunday in my veil with a big smile on my face!" said Sister Mary Victoria, looking through a copy of the 'Imitation of Christ'.

"Happy Easter, Jesus!" said Sister Mary Victoria, smooching her spouse. "Happy Easter to you, too!" smiled Jesus. "And when you come back from the dead, we'll play 'Thus Spake Zarathustra' by Ricard Strauss!"

"Do you believe in evolution, Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Evolution is a fact. But then, the creation story in the Bible is a fact, too..." said Jesus. "Can you figure that? People got a lot more beautiful as they grew up spiritually."

"So - what was you favorite part of the day?" asked Jesus. "Ha- ha! Communion, of course!" laughed Sister Mary Victoria. "But that is true of every day I go to church!"

"Your family loves you very much, Sister Mary Victoria. They want you to live like a lily of the field," said Jesus. "Don't take a job. Just do as much volunteering as you can, and make a splash out of every day!"

"I know, I know," laughed Jesus. "You spent a lot of the time sleeping after Easter dinner! You must be very comfortable with your family, Sister Mary Victoria." "Yes, Jesus, as I will sleep on your lap like a child in Heaven - totally at ease!"

"So, you want to be in the choir," said Jesus. "Yes - please beef up the old vocal chords, Jesus," asked Sister Mary Victoria. "You will do all the high notes, I suppose - but don't try to be a star right away!" laughed Jesus.

"More and more people will see how smart you are to keep your vows, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "Don't abdicate for anyone - for goodness' sake, you are scheduled to be a great queen!"

"I am telling you now, sex is usually not that great," said Jesus. "I should know, I invented it. It gets a lot of hype so that the race will continue. Even now the family unit is breaking down - I will have to take some kind of measures."

"More popular music about the family will have to be written," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Many people live by the music they play. Then they will want to have children." "Great idea, Sister. It will have to start in the Catholic Church. I'll be calling a lot more musicians to the stage," mused Jesus.

Make something that is good look good, and people will buy it every time.

"What was your second favorite part of the day?" asked Jesus knowingly. "When my niece, Catherine Elizabeth, said, 'What time is it, Mr. Clock?' " laughed Sister Mary Victoria hysterically.

Jesus makes enough room in Heaven for us, and both our friends and enemies.

"Oh, Jesus, we go back further than Taoism," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Remember all those gospel sermons on WIMG AM?" "But I was an abstraction then - now I am more real than bread and wine..." said Jesus thoughtfully.

Do we understand each other only as much as we overlap intellectually? Or does it go deeper than that?

"You tell me everything!" said Sister Mary Victoria, satisfied. "Yeah - but then most people don't sit still long enough for me to tell them anything!" laughed Jesus.

"Let's go back to our early days - play Billy Joel's 'Uptown Girl'," said Jesus. "And then Michael Jackson's 'The Way You Make Me Feel'!" "Oh, Jesus! - how romantical!" crooned Sister Mary Victoria.

"The human body is your greatest creation, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "It is astonishing how far we've come!" "Hmmm...how much better could it get?" asked Jesus, looking at his blueprints.

"Well, now - Global Warming may be taken care of now that I suggested energy creating heat absorbers and highly vegetated oceans," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Now, our next major problem is garbage - but I think that is all in its division at the local level - compost heaps and recycling. Every home and apartment building should divide trash..."

"Sweet dreams, Jesus!" said Sister Mary Victoria. "You only come to me in spirit form now, but that is okay." "Watch - I may come to get you to take you home in my glorified body!" laughed Jesus.

Why are people the only species allowed to pray? Because sometimes people can outthink God.

Remember to build well the ark of your soul just in case it starts raining.

Don't say everything you know and try not humiliating someone today.

"It was my idea to expose you in this degrading way," said Jesus. "I like seeing you suffer from being seen naked and vulnerable. I like seeing you pay for your sins since you burned that effigy. And I want you to suffer more and never be remunerated. If there is a Catholic I hate, it is you, Sister Mary Victoria."

"Ha! - so you would rather have your privacy than be a saint," said Jesus. "What gall! Take what I give you, and just shut up. Who gave you the right to say anything in your behalf? If you don't buckle down, get the Hell out of my Church. You will be a saint or nothing."

"It will be easier for you to be a saint than not, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus, "because if you leave, you really will have no one. Just shut up, bitch, and go to church and die, and you will be a saint and a Doctor of the Church!"

"You really hold grudges, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria, "and you did have me deceived! I thought you loved and forgave me! I thought you loved everyone!" "No, I don't - you beat me on that point," said Jesus, not without envy. "Aren't there things you made that you threw away?"

"Damn it - now you made it so I have to keep all people in Heaven, no matter whether I like them or not," said Jesus. "Including you, Sister Mary Victoria. You will have fun, but I won't..."

"Yes, I do like Hitler," said Jesus. "He got back at all the Jews who were descendants of those who sent me to my death!" "But I thought they did something necessary, in order to fulfill the prophecy - " said Sister Mary Victoria. "Wrong is wrong, even when it is right," said Jesus, frowning suddenly at his own contradiction.

"I never did like black people," said Jesus. "There is nothing funnier than seeing a black person sell out and follow whitey's god! St. Martin de Porres was a joke in my book! I have you as a saint in the making just because, in burning that effigy, unlike most black people, you stood up to me - and I admire that!"

"Herod was one of my favorite people," said Jesus. "He knocked out all my potential competition in Bethlehem to become the next messiah. Good always comes out of evil."

"Yes, I am on Mao Tse Tung's side," said Jesus. "Tibet had had peace for too long, and was getting to be a rival of the Heavenly Kingdom. Remember, I came to bring the sword and Chairman Mao brought the sword to Tibet!"

"You weren't supposed to write down those last few aphorisms!" complained Jesus, with his head in his hands. "I thought anyone could profit from a little exposure, right Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria, archly.

For better or for worse means exactly that. Don't run - deal!

"I must teach you, Jesus, how to like black people," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Their hair doesn't go with the wind. That was a bad idea," said Jesus, embarrassed. "You do have a long way to go, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Think of it this way - white people don't look good till they are tanned..."

"I'll give you time off from mass for now," said Jesus. "I know how bad your cough is. You are too sick right. Wait till you get your Protonix." "You may hate me, Jesus, but you are merciful," said Sister Mary Victoria.

"Okay, I don't hate you anymore," said Jesus. "You have given me a lot of room for growth spiritually. Before I can accept everyone into Heaven, I have to learn to love them all equally, even those my Church persecuted in the past, and do even now. I have to catch up to you, Sister Mary Victoria, and up to many another saint."

"Whom else don't you like, Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Poor people," confessed Jesus. "That is why it is so hard for them to move up in the world. And also, because they stink. Mother Teresa was better about that than I ever was..."

"Who else don't you like, Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Sick people," wept Jesus. "I should have just gotten rid of sickness while I was on Earth, but I wanted others to suffer like I did. Many were a lot holier than me in a lot of ways. I wanted them to give up, so I made it worse - but they didn't give up! What a reproach to me!"

"How could anyone be holier than you, Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "I saw the beatific vision all the time except for a few moments of abandonment on the cross. And yet, I kept breaking the Mosaic law. Some of the saints were always in the Dark Night of the Soul and yet hardly ever broke the Ten Commandments or the law."

"How could anyone be holier than you, Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "I could have fed the world, and I still could with the sheer force of my will - many a saint would if they had my power. Therefore, I can hardly be called merciful. I am failing at my own beatitudes."

"Are you sure, Jesus, that the reason why you didn't feed the world and conquer illness is because you simply couldn't?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Who is this I am really talking to?" "You have just been privy to the longest seance in history," said Jesus.

"So - you are just a man?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Yes, just a man, who thought he could have great honors by fulfilling a prophecy," said Jesus, "and I succeeded. I have been one of the most successful men in history. People just don't come back from the dead - don't be silly!"

If the resurrection never happened and the Eucharist is not God, Christianity is largely worthless.

Most people go on being Christians because they don't know any better.

When you heal one and not all, and you just do it for your own glory, what kind of a God are you?

I never really thought you could get what you want with a few repeated lines of rhymed hocus-pocus. But maybe you will get it for hard work.

"Who are you least favorite people, Jesus?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "The mentally ill. They are a largely useless by-product of a dysfunctional culture. You know, the leftovers..." said Jesus, looking at a book on eugenics.

"So - I am black, poor, sick and mentally ill," said Sister Mary Victoria. "No wonder you would throw me away." "Yes, I was behind the movement to stop your vows all along. It was you who held out, not me. I don't really want you anymore than anyone else does."

"I insinuated the insults you receive and no one around you does anything against my will," said Jesus. "It is you that is wrong, not them. Do you think I care about vows made years ago when everything else was different?"

"But what about marriage vows, Jesus?" said Sister Mary Victoria. "Don't they count for anything?" "I rule this country, and I have decided that divorce is perfectly acceptable. So, get out of my Church, and get out of my life," said Jesus. "I don't want blacks and the mentally ill in religion. Only a few as tokens."

"What about abortion? Are you for that?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Is it legal?" asked Jesus. "I allow you to smoke because it is legal. No further questions."

"Why are you putting me aside?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Because you want justice on your own terms. You are some kind of a freak who doesn't want sex - and I do everything possible for people to want it," said Jesus, "and thus make myself look better for not doing it. Get off your high horse and give it up!"

"I talk like this to all my saints, sooner or later," said Jesus. "I removed myself from Mother Teresa's consciousness because she was just too good. I wouldn't have done what she did - I was not holy enough to be a volunteer, either. I received plenty of money, don't' be surprised."

"I am going to be like this to you until you die, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "You think Sister Josefa Menendez had it hard - just wait. I am going to make your life as Hellish as possible, in order for you to go to Highest Heaven. Don't expect any sympathy from anyone while you are alive."

"The closer you stick to your vows, the worse your life on Earth will be, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "It is up to you. I know you will choose your vows. Like most religious, you will suffer because of your desire to be perfect. Like most saints, you will suffer from trying to be better. That is just the way it is."

"I was laughing at you when I said this is a seance," said Jesus. "Just like you laughed at those nuns, and wouldn't take back what I said about their doing a simple little girl's sleepover! I AM WHO AM! That is what you get from attacking a holy institution!"

"But you said the nuns were doing a little girl's sleepover, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Must you write everything I say?" asked Jesus. "Why not?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "This is for the world to read...and like you said, exposure is a good thing..."

If the waters of your relationships grow choppy, wait for the tide to ebb.

"Mother Teresa of Calcutta saw me in the distressing disguise of the poor," said Jesus. "You see me in people who just don't like you and who talk about you, but never to you - isn't that far harder? And there is nothing you can do this side of Heaven to change that..."

"I liked Blessed Margaret of Castello, even though it seemed that most others did not," said Jesus, "but I have put you, Sister Mary Victoria, into the position of being unliked by me. Someone must have that role, its granting is quite arbitrary...but that is what you get for burning the effigy..."

"I dislike you also in that your love is more inclusive than mine, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus, "and in that way, you are more divine than me. I expect a lot and there are some people I just don't like. You expect nothing and like everyone - you were joking when you said you liked sisters first."

"Maybe I am exaggerating when I say no one likes you," said Jesus. "But I wanted to pay you back for burning the effigy - and I don't understand why you are still Catholic and staying with your vows. If there is a man who wants you, why do you hang on? The nuns keep rejecting you - why don't you just give up, Sister Mary Victoria?"

"King Solomon is high in Heaven, even though when he died, he was a pagan," said Jesus. "So, why don't you just leave the Church? No one really wants you there. If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody calling?"

"Take off that stupid veil," said Jesus. "You are black, and people just think you want long hair. I don't care what you think about it, because no one cares what you think, anyway, or they would be talking to you, Sister Mary Victoria."

"Even in the hospital, people will see you naked in the shower, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "Why can't you just be like modern people and show off your beauty? I don't see why it isn't a compliment for an animal like you to have everyone watch it! That is what they call you - animal! You are very bad publicity for the Church!"

"It is not your fault, Sister Mary Victoria, but for many, you are nothing but a harlot," laughed Jesus. "I wanted to bring you down off your high seat as a spouse of Christ, and have you serve as a centerfold for the whole world! Do you really think I care about you?"

"Most people who go into religious life, don't really want it, but just accept it," said Jesus, "and thus they suffer from the start. You like to give alms, you like to pray, you like fasting - why, Sister Mary Victoria? Don't you want to keep your money? Don't you have anything better to do than talk to me? Why deny yourself? Why don't you just sin?"

"Is this Satan, really?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "I don't know what you are talking about." "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus - I forgot to say that -" "Stop saying that name!" said Jesus. "Now I know - it was never Jesus! Get out of the way, Satan!"

"Jesus, why did you fall asleep on me?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "What happened?" asked Jesus, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. "Satan took over somewhere along the line, Jesus. Boy, did he have me tricked!" said Sister Mary Victoria. "Phew! I am glad I woke up!" said Jesus, astonished.

Satan has a way of speaking in the name of God that is quite deceptive sometimes.

"Oh, Jesus, I am so glad you are back! Satan really took me for a ride, talking as if he were you!" wept Sister Mary Victoria, relieved. "I am glad you had the presence of mind to figure that one out," said Jesus. "My Divinity let it go on, praying that you would find a way out!" said Jesus, proudly.

"Darnitall!" said Satan. "I've worked a lot of people out of the Church that way, but it didn't work with Sister Mary Victoria. Next thing, they'll be calling her a terror of demons, what with the childlike way she says - uh, his name!"

"Satan has a way of insinuating his way into possessing the unaware," said Jesus. "He takes a disguise, even like me, God himself, and then carefully and cleverly changes everything into a series of lies. Once the person is convinced of his rectitude, it is almost too late - but just think of me and say my name and the risk is over."

"Compared to eternity, mankind's stay on Earth will seem like less than a second one day," said Jesus. "Don't even worry about what happens while you are alive - in the end, it will hardly matter!"

"Whoopee! Everybody is going to be a saint some day!" shouted Sister Mary Victoria, twisting and dancing with Jesus. "Now you know it is me - can't you see the difference?" laughed Jesus. "What's for breakfast?"

"Whenever Satan tries his tricks, don't forget the 'Jesus test' - just say my name or write it, and watch him flee," said Jesus. "Many people are attacked by him who don't know what to do, and don't have a simple faith in me. The more educated you are, often the longer it takes to get rid of him. A child just says 'Jesus' and he's gone..."

"Satan really hates anchorites," said Jesus. "Think of St. Antony the Great, who was continually barbed by hoards of demons. But it was his simple faith that overcame in the end, and those devils never came back."

"So you do like black people!" said Sister Mary Victoria. "Well, everyone has a black shadow, if that is what you mean," said Jesus. "Don't worry - I like and love everyone I ever created, in a way which even you, Sister, don't know the depths of, because I am God. Unlike people, nothing I have ever created do I throw away for good."

"The real you is so gentle and tender with me," said Sister Mary Victoria, "and with all others, too, if they would only give you a chance. I know of your love because I have sought it out for so many years to the exclusion of anything else - and that is the only difference between me and anyone else. All are loved equally by you."

"The devil can talk one right out of their salvation," said Jesus. "I hate to see people wrapped up in his pomps and works, but there is little I can do because I honor free will. But the Father will eventually draw back every last one of them, rest assured."

"Go to church on Sundays or Saturday vigils," said Jesus, "but don't go back to daily mass until your cough is gone. Trust in the doctor, Sister - if you catch a cold, you are ruined." "Oh, Jesus, the real you is truly merciful! No wonder you are King of the Saints!" said Sister Mary Victoria.

"I want to write about you till the end of my days on Earth, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria, "and show everyone how wonderful you really are!" "She really loves me!" said Jesus to his image in a hand mirror, weeping.

Jesus probably never cried once for his own pains, but rather only out of his love for us.

Many of us are in one stage or another of being deceived by the devil. But in that case, God is merciful, and simply says, "They know not what they do..."

Anyone who thinks no one loves them is deceived by the devil. Why? Because you cannot prove a negative.

Anyone who does not love himself is deceived by the devil. Why? Because only the devil himself is really incapable of loving.

Anyone who would say someone has no one is deceived by the devil. Why? Because everyone has at least me; I will speak for myself.

"I am against this daily 'gangrape' you suffer every day, watched in the privacy of your home, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "I am slow to anger. Hell will break loose. So many people watch you naked against your will and mine - I did not bring you here for this. Don't worry - they will pay. No rape victim is a harlot."

"I am saving the very pits of Hell for the authorities and the minions who monitor you in your home and the very heights of Heaven for you, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "This is as bad as the scourge of pedophilia in the Church. It is a blot on the butt of humanity. Justice will prevail one day."

"The authorities have watched you long enough to know you are not a criminal," said Jesus. "So why do the hidden cameras go on? Don't worry, I know their real agenda -"

"If there is no justice till you die, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus, "even when you are in Heaven you will be able to see what becomes of the people who monitor you and all who watch you - and that will be a bad and crazy day for them in Hell. Yes, they are going to Hell - now there is no way out until they beg forgiveness, stop and remunerate you..."

"There are just so many holy people in my neighborhood, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "They make me happier than even I would be!" "Well, it takes one to know one!" laughed Jesus.

"I don't think most people watch you from evil motives," said Jesus. "You are just a magnetic personality - you attract notice, and you have a lot of presence." "Who, me?" "Yes, even without the veil, you are just noticeable," said Jesus, "largely because of me."

"Use your magnetism for the right ends," said Jesus. "In other words, stay with your vows, stay in your hometown and put down roots. I won't fail you, Sister Mary Victoria, nor do I ever fail my true spouses."

"Trenton is one of the holiest towns in New Jersey, what with the profligacy with which the Father planted churches," said Jesus. "And yet, people here are poor - but the poor always have an edge on the rich when it comes to salvation."

"Are you mad at me for burning the effigy?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "What effigy?" asked Jesus, and then suddenly Sister remembered that God does not remember our confessions.

"Are you happier now that you don't have to be a saint?" asked Jesus merrily. "I hate it when people do that, anyway! I call all believers saints!" "Yeah - now I don't have to go to church anymore, and I can pray when I really want to, and I don't have to live up to anything!" said Sister Mary Victoria, laughing!

"I still have my witchcraft books," said Vicki, or rather, Evenstar. "And my Taoist books! And my Buddhist books! And my Zen books! And my Hindu books! And my Tibetan Buddhist books! Whoopee! I can do whatever I really want!"

"So, just because they read you say you had my presence, they decided not to make you a saint," said Jesus sadly. "Even though it is true, that you do." "Yes," said Evenstar. "And I have no regrets. Also, I won't have to try to love and like them so much. They hardly deserve it, since they watch me all the time, even when I am naked."

"I saw the depths you plunged me into, Jesus," said Evenstar. "You were in no hurry to get me out of trouble." "But it is such a good story - and now, I don't think I can ever get you back!" wept Jesus, his head in his hands. "I thought you had accepted it - and I was going to let you die before any justice was done!"

"I am just sitting naked in here," said Evenstar. "It is a warm day, what's wrong with that?" "But you know they are watching you!" said Jesus. "Really, I have no proof," said Evenstar. "You won't give me any truth, Mr. Truth."

"Was that really Satan, Jesus, or was it you at a weak moment?" asked Evenstar. "You must simply learn to accept some things, Sister. I accepted my death!" "Accept what, Jesus? I have no proof that anyone is watching. It is just that I don't want to be some on eggs, uptight nun for the rest of my life, which could be very long..."

"Nobody knows," said Evenstar. "But they use spyware!" said Jesus. "I can't prove it. It might be a trick of my mind." "Wake up, Sister!" "I'm not your sister, Jesus! The nuns rejected me." "Now what have I done?" Jesus wept bitterly.

"I don't mind that you don't like black people, Jesus. Looking at the history of this country, it is pretty obvious," said Evenstar. "That wasn't me!" cried Jesus. "I'd rather be disliked for being black than be monitored in my own home," said Evenstar. "And if it is a joke, it is the nastiest one I have ever been told..."

"Even the nuns and priests used spyware and watched the monitors," said Jesus. "I am so sorry! Come back!" "I didn't go anywhere. I am just fed up with all this crap," said Evenstar. "But I don't have to go in the hospital, I just need another friend than you, if this is your idea of a good story -"

"I didn't like my life under your administration, Jesus," said Evenstar. "As Toni Braxton would say, you aren't man enough for me. You couldn't even scare away the authorities for me, and yet you are in control of everything that happens." "Yes, I am in control," said Jesus. "And I am not sorry. I don't have to be - I am God."

Sometimes Satan tells more of the truth than God does.

"Things got worse and worse the higher I went in the Catholic Church," said Evenstar. "Even the pope is your jokester, Jesus. Your righthand man. You may not lie, but you give out mixed messages - but isn't that lying, in a way?"

"You treated me as bad as you treated St. Therese the Little Flower, or maybe worse, because it was spread out over a longer time, Jesus," said Evenstar. "You found ways to torture each one of your saints. Well, I am getting out before it is too late. It is good that all the other gods and goddesses outnumber you."

Hear Satan out. He knows God better than you do, because he has known him longer.

"I can't get this ring off," said Evenstar of her espousal ring. "It will have to be cut off. But I think I will wear it instead to remind me not to look back, only ahead."

Don't be shy. Take off your clothes whenever you have an opportunity. Your body likes fresh air.

"Instead of wars, Jesus, why couldn't the leaders just play chess?" asked Sister Mary Victoria. "Why do you come to me about that?" asked Jesus. "You said you were the one in control. No prince or leader gets in except through your power..."

"You called yourself 'Sister Mary Victoria' again! Is there hope?" asked Jesus. "Well, I can't get the ring off!" exclaimed Sister Mary Victoria. "Just stop calling me 'baby' and 'animal' and maybe we will have a deal..."

"I don't call you 'baby' and 'animal'," said Jesus. "Your Church does - correct it, please!" said Sister Mary Victoria. "I think you, and therefore I, am stuck with it - whatsoever they do unto the least of my people, that they do unto me," said Jesus wearily. "I get far worse insults!"

"You sing 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes' so well, Jesus, it just ravishes my heart!" said Sister Mary Victoria. "I am back for good, now! I don't care if I am a saint or not - I don't have to share you with an order of sisters - here you are all mine!"

"In convents, nuns compete for my attention," said Jesus. "Here, you have no worries. I want you to make it so I rule this whole world!" "Then maybe I'll deserve to be a queen in Heaven - well, I'll work on it!" said Sister Mary Victoria.

"I have to earn you, too, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "I've paid millions of dollars for your doctor bills; after all, I inspire people and everything is mine, in the end. You are already a millionaire, in a way. Now you know that Satan was wrong - sick people mean the world to me."

"Just play anything about love that is chaste, Sister Mary Victoria, and know it is me," said Jesus. "You may be soon to depart this life, and I want to make it as happy as possible."

"You remember what the doctor said? Smoke all you want for two months, and then he will give you medicine to stop the urges for cigarettes," said Jesus, "if that is what you want, Sister Mary Victoria. Either way, you will have it easy."

"Now that you don't have to do anything to please me, what will you do, Sister Mary Victoria?" asked Jesus. "Anything you want - so out go the Wicca books. And I won't have time to read anything but the catechism, the Bible and my prayers, because I'll be writing and working on my network till it's over."

"I used to cry every Ascension Thursday, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria thoughtfully. "You, as Judy Garland might say, were 'The Man That Got Away'!" "That is a new one!" said Jesus, trying not to laugh. "Now you see how I feel about every last little soul!"

"I am so lucky to have had dreams and visions of you, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "St. Bernadette was so affected by hers that nothing in this world could make her happy in comparison to seeing the Blessed Virgin Mary! Maybe that is one reason why I am sorrowful - because I am just waiting to see you again -"

"Now that I know I may bite the dust soon, I am glad to be watched," said Sister Mary Victoria. "They will know when I am gone and I don't have to worry! So, I'll stay in clothes and keep my veil on so they know how to put it on properly." "What a pragmatic girl you are, Sister!" said Jesus.

"Now that you freed me from all obligations, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria, "I want to love everyone even more! Please show me how!" "It will all come out in the wash - and often when you do the wash!" said Jesus, laughing.

"I don't know a song that says 'buck up, little buckaroo, you'll find somebody else one day!'," said Sister Mary Victoria, "to your competition!" "I do - and I am playing it in his heart right now!" said Jesus jealously.

"We've had our tough moments, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria, "but what we have is rare, indeed. Between the two of us, we've shown the very humanity of God - and he is a very likable fellow. I'd have no other man but you, Jesus."

"You are not the first to be deceived by Satan," said Jesus. "Simon Peter got caught by him one night while I was sleeping, and you see what happened - I had to say to him, 'get thee behind me, Satan!' and it really startled him. He had just fallen prey to the vigilance of Satan, who never sleeps..."

Poor Satan! He goes to and fro, getting into mischief here and there, and always failing in the end! He keeps losing battles, and he will lose the war, too!

"You can even find a good song among the rock group Bad Company's," said Jesus. "Anna' is a nice song, by anyone's standards. Now try the Rolling Stones -"

"The Rolling Stone's 'Angie' is supposed to be a breakup song," said Sister Mary Victoria, "but to me, the eternal optimist, it sounds like the beginning of something - where will it lead us from here? Maybe back together..."

Any time one veers away from the Jesus they know and love are being persuaded by Satan and his minions. However, an unexamined faith brings blindness and stumbling.

To those who would hear: I am not claiming to be writing another gospel. I simply write what comes to me about the way I feel Jesus is to me. Others have made Jesus come across differently; no one is completely reliable, perhaps. However, if it rings true to enough people, it must be

inspired by God himself.

"I'm thinking of giving up music, Jesus," said Sister Mary Victoria. "Everyone will believe I have someone else in mind when I play a love song. And even if I play sacred music, people will still believe that. There is no way out of the mess, so perhaps I should just leave it and the computer alone."

"I am amazed at these human beings - what surprises they bring!" said the Divinity of Jesus. "They are so small, and yet so gifted - did I make them all by myself?"

The Divinity of Jesus is the humblest thing there is.

"Don't be afraid of Satan, he is a mere fallen angel. He can't even do you as much harm as a human being, who could blow you and the world up with a hydrogen bomb or two," said Jesus. "As Sister Mary Victoria suggested, either laugh at him, ignore him, or love him in spite of himself - and you have already won the battle."

"Satan, like all trials and tribulations, is at least useful," said Jesus. "Without him, there would be no saints or holy people, because they need his contrast."

"Satan can only really be in one place at a time," said Jesus, "and it is rare for anyone to be face to face with him. Sister Mary Victoria has been because she is one of the few anchorites in the world today, and anchorites are deeply hated by Satan, because of their faith and optimism. One good anchorite is enough at one time for the Church."

"Padre Pio was a lot like an anchorite in that Satan came to him directly and assaulted him physically," said Jesus. "But that is rarer than a two-sunned solar system."

"Now that Sister Mary Victoria has so patiently asked for it and pushed for it over years, one day Satan will be saved," said Jesus. "Just relax, now. As Satan improves, so will the world. And it will be the true beginning of the reign of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Next? - we must worry about what extraterrestials there are."

"Remember also, that Satan himself can only possess one person at a time," said Jesus. "That shows you how weak he really is - the Holy Spirit 'possesses' the souls of literally millions of people every day after communion. Therein lies the joy of the mass."

"That is what I like about Catholicism as a religion," said Sister Mary Victoria. "It is reasonable and logical because it is based on truth, unlike most other religions, which are based on things that are not understandable."

"Those people who came into the neighborhood calling you a saint just wanted to lift you up and smash you down so you would get upset and go into a state hospital," laughed Jesus, looking at plans for a new wing in Hell. "You know where they are going, those perverts who liked to see you naked! Take a shower, Sister Mary Victoria!"

"They kept threatening you with the police over and over again, trying to find a way to sue you or put you away, Sister Mary Victoria," snickered Jesus. "They have to apologize to you face to face, every last Peeping Tom, or I'll change my rule and leave them in Hell forever!"

"I know you are not going to let go of your vows or your connection to the Catholic Church," said Jesus, "even if it means occupying a pew with some of the worst scum of the Earth! They will pay, on Earth or in Hell!"

"There will be better authorities in the Church in the future," said Jesus. "You have done no wrong. You could be a saint, Sister Mary Victoria, so do nothing to jeapordize that. But - be strong, and don't let any of your enemies off the hook."

"All those perverts!" shrieked Jesus. "And they even let their children watch you in the shower many times! I've got plenty of millstones for them!"

"The funny thing is they are going to keep doing it," said Jesus. "Why? Because they are hardened criminals. They act as if they had a right, and you have none. Don't worry - you will get justice one day."

"Of course you shouldn't go to church and have to shake hands with a priest who lusts after you sexually," said Jesus. "That is going right into an occasion of sin! I wouldn't expect a good anchorite to do a foolish thing like that, Sister Mary Victoria!"

"You should have suspected them every time they kept saying at one moment that you were a saint, and the next moment not," said Jesus. "What do they know? It is suffering that makes saints, and their insults and raping your privacy causes you enough to send you to the heights of Heaven! It is like pedophilia among priests!"

"On top of that, they kept trying to tempt you out of our vows," said Jesus. "What gall! It wasn't just occasional, it was actually forceful, group organized and chronic, like gangrape! They raped your very mind with their constant pressure, and they will continue, even though they know it is wrong! They are hopeless!"

"This has nothing to do with Satan, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "Yes, this is Jesus Christ, your spouse! This whole scheme was invented by men. Those men they say want you just do it out of malice, not out of concern for your feelings. They just want to lock you up and throw away the key!"

"Now - you've said what you should have," said Jesus. "Remain calm and totally unperturbed and there is no reason why they should be able to have you put away. You can easily do it for years to come - and all things must pass."

"Every true anchorite has to know how to roar, Sister Mary Victoria," said Jesus. "Your roaring hurts no one and it may be able to shock some sense into those sinners' hard heads. And every saint has to be forceful as long as they are righteous and controlled. That is one of the seven spiritual works of mercy, to warn people about Hell."

A God who cannot get justice for one of his people is funny.

A horny priest who cannot get laid is funny.

A pope who would overturn a decision by God is a joke.

Christians who go to peepshows are perverted freaks - but worst of all, hypocrites.

First, God said "Thou shalt not kill." Then he hosted the worst kind of genocide ever seen.

Fake out on the Jews - Hitler just gave them their comeuppance.

In a largely Christian country, 60 million babies have been aborted since 1973. "Thou shalt not what?".

Saints take all the shit that comes out of the asshole of the Catholic Church - and when they revolt, they are taken off the calendar.

If Christians like the truth, why do they continue to crucify Jesus every day?

Lie and curse all you want if you are not a Christian - no one is keeping score.

The air in the churches is so stale even the bugs die.

'Eat me, eat me, say that you'll eat me!' cried Christ. No wonder people who were overfull from the feeding of the five thousand turned away - they needed to get their Pepto Bismol.

A pope who would try to seduce one of the body of Christ into witchcraft is lost forever.

A pope who would try to seduce one of Christ's spouses into giving up their vows is lost forever.

Why try to get the approval of a hypocrite? They would probably only lie, anyway.

Stop loving people who don't give two shits about you and you'll probably live longer.

If a saint is not treated as a person worthy of dignity and respect, he should not even try to be a saint, much less a Catholic.

Being a lady is knowing when to get off the bandwagon.

"Let the Catholic Church go to Hell, I'm not going with them!" cried the wise one.

If you give up one construct for another, you'll run right into the same problems.

The problem with Jesus is that his Church broke all of his rules, down to the last jot and tittle.

When an institution calls you an 'animal' you don't owe them anything.

Anyone who would call you an 'animal' and a 'saint' does not have your best interests at heart - they are probably just using you.

Anyone who would compliment and insult you at the same time is not worth any time.

A smile with a simultaneous knife jab in the heart is a sign of trouble.

I really got to love Jesus. But he gave me a life of no love or tenderness, and too much cruelty and curiosity on the part of others - and he was doing nothing to improve things.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta's clients loved her soon after she started. But I went for almost thirty years in the Catholic Church without love - I was running on empty.

There is life after Jesus Christ.

When there is no good reason to stay, go.

There is another Heaven for people whom Jesus Christ doesn't love. And believe me, there are a lot more people there.

The Catholic Church is just another society or social club. If you weren't invited, don't go.

True justice lives in Heaven alone.

When there is no one to love, love yourself.

Peace comes from accepting things that just won't change.

When people like and enjoy doing you wrong, you don't have to either love or like them - but try to anyway, and you get spiritual brownie points.

Don't live up to anything you really don't have a reason to.

Once you are a Catholic without distinction, all the Church will ever send you is money envelopes.

Don't go by what you hear in the neighborhood. If people don't speak to you of something face to face, it isn't real.

Don't believe anything you cannot easily see.

If people have done enough things that are embarrassing to them to you, they can never be your friends.

Most people are indifferent to you, or at most, mildly amused. Treat them the same way.

Sex is just a substitute for the maternal embrace.

If you can't stop it, accept it.

Why believe it, if it does nothing for you?

Why believe what some weird person tells you through your third storey window? Whatever happened to Alexander Graham Bell? The postal system? Emails?

If people don't love you, just ignore them for the most part.

If you have nothing to feel guilty about, count your lucky stars.

If a lot of people in your neighborhood have guilty feelings about what they have done to you behind your back, they will never talk to you face to face.

Street people are always guilty of something and all who 'hang out' somewhere.

Don't believe half of what anyone tells you about the pope. He really doesn't have time to do all of what they say he does.

If you hear voices in the darkness, they come from the people who walk in darkness.

If you weren't notified, it didn't happen.

If you have never done anything remarkable, don't let others try to convince you otherwise.

People in masses can create some pretty wild stories.

When one person alone can overturn plans carefully laid out by the masses, she is an Ubermensch.

Mass hysteria is based on unrealities.

Lies are only justified by more lies.

Mass jokes on someone can be turned awry by the right person.

When you are right, you can say anything any old way and you will get away with it.

Some people have nothing better to do than to weave tall tales.

You don't approve of the Reign of Terror? Then get the hell out of the Catholic Church.

When people are always fighting over what you should do with your life, you know you must be important.

No one can make you sing.

No one can make you get married.

No one can make you do much of anything you don't want.

If you are not welcome anywhere, stay home.

The holier you get, the worse the people around you seem.

Once you realize that the Catholic Church is founded not upon sanctity but upon Jesus' desire to accumulate wealth and power, you can safely leave it without a qualm.

Divide and conquer, says the Church.

The Catholic Church had it good during the Reign of Terror. It was actually important to be listened to then...

Obviously now the Church has little power, because even its members do exactly what they want.

Judaism and Christianity are frauds, because they break all their own rules.

Jesus Christ is not a Christian or a Catholic. He never said he was anything but a glorified Jew.

When you have nothing and no one to lose, you might as well say what is on your mind.

After being Catholic, why be in another religion and just take on another set of manmade beliefs?

When you are free of religion, you are truly mature and honest with youself.

Christianity is probably just a fad, too. Nobody goes by its rules anymore, if ever.

Now that I am no longer considered for sanctity, no one is doing what Christ wanted. And maybe they never will again...

Christianity will be hard to die because of people's fear of that atrocity called Hell.

Hardly anyone takes Hell as seriously as Jesus wants them to. They just go on sinning, taking God's mercy for granted...

Isn't it grand to be able to deprive people who don't like you what they really want just by remaining calm and unperturbed?

Catholics are so afraid of Satan that they deify him. Isn't that a sin?

When others don't care about your feelings, soon you don't care about theirs - but it took me 47 years...

Weak people survive off of those who agree with them.

Strong people don't even need convictions.

Some people think that no matter what they do they are going to Heaven, but they don't think that about others...

God is a poor excuse for us to anthropomorphize powers beyond our control.

Are you in the Jesus trap? What are you afraid of?

"Don't let it happen, Jesus, I'll be good!" says the true believer.

If you keep winning on paper, you will keep losing everywhere else.

"Anything is possible with God" is the most frightening thing ever said.