TWENTY
YEARS AGO
"Twenty Years Ago."
Twenty years ago my Mom and Dad
Concluded to get hitched.
Twas the same old tale of poverty
And trying to get rich.
They started out in Kansas
But the grasshoppers and the drought
Discouraged them and pretty soon
They pulled out for the South.
Then Bill was born, then sister Sue
And after while I came.
The crops were poor and Dad he sure
Did have to hustle some.
But then we growed and plowed and hoed
And helped the old man through.
And Ma we knowed had a smoother road
With the help of sister Sue.
One day last fall with Wedge and Maul
I was splittin' the winter wood.
Ma came down in her homespun gown
And her head tied up in a hood.
John Henry she said, don't you think
We'd ought to have an outin'
We worked and slaved and you've behaved
And I yelled now you're shouting'.
But what will we do said sister Sue
Who was working near a washing.
Hitch up the mules, the pesky fools
They'll take us around a slashing.
We'll go to Darbysville said Bill
And visit our relation.
Dad's stove pipe hat and Sue's new wrap
Will make a big sensation.
So Bill and me made a double-tree
And fixed it on the wagon.
Then in got Sue and Mother too
And Dad and Bill in front.
And me between because I was lean
And the mules wet on the jump.
We struck the pike turned to the right
And everything seemed honkey.
Till down the lane by the Widow Franes
Came a long eared, wall-eyed donkey.
He was running away with a load of hay
And the Widow was raising thunder.
And Dad yelled, "Whoa, Whoa, see the little cuss go."
There is where he made a blunder.
Our mules got scared and kicked and reared,
The seat fell down and twisted around.
Bill fell on sister Sue.
She yelled with pain you haven't a grain
Of common sense said she.
An axle cracked, Dad lost his hat
And I sprained my left knee.
Them cussed beasts didn't care in the least
For our jerks and talkin'
I'd give our shoats or our field of oats
To be out there a walkin'.
We struck a stump, Dad gave a grunt
That sounded like tarnation.
My gallasses broke they was made of rope.
Bill swore like all creation.
We struck a ditch and in we pitched
The whole pile in a jumble.
The mud was deep and out we crept
And kinder eased our tumble.
Sue was a sight. Bill wanted to fight.
And Dad had lost an ear.
My pants was gone, I felt all wrong
And Ma shed many a tear.
The neighbors came out and raised a shout
The like was never seen.
I borrowed a sack and home I tracked
I did feel doggone green.
Sue can't sit down, Bill has left town
And Dad is on a bender.
I'll hunt them mules confound their souls
When I get over feelin'tender.
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Walter R. Peterman
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Last updated 22:23 PM 11/10/2006