Forgiveness

By Edward Hersh 6/15/02

 

I. Introduction

  1. Forgiveness is central to the gospel of salvation through faith in Jesus

1. conversion Eph. 1:7; 1 John 1:9

a. sin (the Fall) caused a distorted perspective of relationship with both God and fellowman
    1. the Cross- center piece; symbolism (horizontal, vertical)

c. Christ accomplished forgiveness Heb. 9:22; Phil. 2:5-11

2. transformation (sanctification) Rom. 12:2; Phil. 1:6; Heb. 12:1,2

a. Transformation - "is that process of death and rebirth whereby what was our weakness becomes our strength." (Sandford,p16) (2 Cor. 12:9)

b. Healing is a process. Healing is the process of evangelizing the soul (evangelizing believers in unbelieving areas of their lives). Everyone needs healing (carrys hurt from past oundedness caused by inevitable insensitivities, mistreatment, betrayal, injustice)); healing can be painful.

Heb. 3:12 "See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God."

B. Forgiveness is a gift John 3:16

1. not just a decision or choice

  1. eg. gift of a tie vs. gift of cash; money must be spent to enjoy the gift
  2. Christ extends us forgiveness in order for us to extend forgiveness to others

II. Elements of Forgiveness

A. What forgiveness is and is not

1. What forgiveness is NOT:

a. simple remorse

b. forgetting

c. excusing

d. trusting (trust must be earned)

e. just a feeling

f. a one time deal

2. What forgiveness IS:

a. surrendering to Jesus our right to hold a judgment against someone

b. release of all indebtedness

c. choice to obey

(1) we don't always FEEL forgiving

(2) we must sometimes just choose to forgive, by faith

d. gift of grace - we cannot forgive on our own; only Jesus can accomplish forgiveness

e. linked to repentance

- true repentance (like David, not like Saul)

- we cannot blame our parents, perpetrator, observer (or anyone else) for our sinful response

B. Areas of forgiveness

1. releasing ("forgiving") God - (reconciliation, accepting oneself or circumstances)

Psalm 22:1-2 - David's cry for an answer

Mark 4:37,38 - Disciples accuse Jesus of not caring

2. releasing ("forgiving") yourself - (receiving forgiveness)

Isaiah 43:25 - our sins are not remembered by God

Psalm 103:10-12 - Christ removed our transgressions

3. forgiving others - (extending forgiveness)

Ephesians 4:32 - "... forgiving each other, just as Christ has forgiven you."

C. How to recognize unforgiveness

    1. Two types

      2. a. When you know there is resentment(s) in the heart - is your heart glad to see him/her? - do you want to fellowship or avoid? - do you rehearse "speeches"? - do you imagine things to get even?

      b. When you can't remember

      (wound may be so deep, unforgiveness is covered up)

      - are you losing power? (difficulties coming into God's presence)

      - do you have physical problems?

      - do periods of despondency return quickly after joyful times?

      - is your sleep or rest disturbed?

    2. Reasons (excuses) given for unforgiveness
    1. the offense was too great
    2. he/she won't accept responsibility for the offense
    3. he/she never asked to be forgiven
    4. he/she will do it again
    5. he/she did it again

f. he/she isn't truly sorry

g. he/she did it deliberately

h. I don't like him/her

i. if I forgive the offense, I'd have to treat the offender well

j. someone has to punish him/her

k. I don't feel like forgiving him/her

l. I can't forget what happened

    1. Effects of unforgiveness

a. stress and anxiety b. self-inflicted condemnation c. lack of trust and love d. anger and bitterness e. perpetual conflict f. building up of emotional walls

g. depression and hopelessness

D. Essential Steps in forgiving the offender

    1. REMEMBER how much you've been forgiven (Christ's work)
    2. RELEASE the debt (resentment)
    3. REFUSE to take it back
    4. RECYCLE steps 1 - 3 in case you do take it back

E. The Gethsemane experience (Luke 22:39-46)

1. Jesus identified with each of us in the Garden of Gethsemane (2Cor.5:21)

2. He became our sin. He didn't just die physically. He also died spiritually and emotionally in becoming separated from His Father.

3. Jesus accomplishes forgiveness; we can't.

(Heb.10:19,20)

Two parts to forgiveness:

a. blood - Jesus blood satisfies the legal requirements.

b. cross - Jesus' cross must come between us and the sin.

4. Jesus reaped in his body all the consequences of each and every sin committed in the past, present and future. He forgave our offender's sin before it was even committed. If Jesus already forgave it, how can we not? How dare we not?

 

F. Heaping Coals of Fire on the Head (Romans 12:20,21)

1. Cultural significance - person in town to provide coals each morning for lighting fires
  1. 2. Heaping coals on an enemies head, will turn him into one who spreads warmth

3. Like Saul at Stephen's stoning, was transformed by forgiveness, we can begin the

transformation work of God by forgiving others

 

III. Other Items Related to Forgiveness

A. Additional Scriptures

Rom 12:14-21 - how we should treat others.

Mark 11:25,26; Matt 6:14,15 - if you forgive, you will be forgiven

Eph 4:32 - forgive as Christ has forgiven you

Heb 3:12-15 - ... do not harden your hearts

1 John 1:9 - if we confess ... he forgives ...

Prov 20:5 - "A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water ..."

B. References

1. Books

"Transformation of he Inner Man" by John & Paula Sandford

"Restoring the Christian Soul" by Leanne Payne

"Disappointment with God: Three Questions No One Asks Aloud" by Phil Yancey

"Five Steps to Forgiveness: the Art and Science of Forgiving" by Everett Worthington

2. Refer to sample prayer(s) of forgiveness and the Gethsemane prayer article.

 

 

C. Key steps to ministering forgiveness

1. When an area of unforgiveness is discovered, explain what you see to

the counselee and ask them if they would like to pray about this.

2. Invite the presence of the Holy Spirit (presence of Jesus as the

great Forgiver)

3. Focus on what Christ has done for us by accomplishing our

forgiveness. This helps to take the edge off of present hurt.

4. Try to assess the level of forgiveness needed. If they need to forgive

another person, make sure they do not need to forgive God or themselves

FIRST. Part of your role as a prayer counselor may be to help the

person to discover who and what needs to be forgiven, and how.

5. Ask the person if they are willing to (choose to) forgive. If they

are not, your ministry is essentially over. Encourage them to pray

about it more and seek help and further counsel. Perhaps their

wounds are too deep or the details more personal than they are ready to

reveal. That's ok.

6. Ask them to pray, or lead them in a prayer of, forgiveness. Avoid

vague generalities, but be as specific as possible, perhaps

containing elements of a sample prayer. If they are praying on

their own, and not being specific, suggest a more specific phrase

and ask them to pray it.

7. Always ascertain and acquire feedback on willingness to proceed. Do

not push anyone into something they are not ready for.

8. Affirm and encourage their progress in the process of forgiveness.

Pray a blessing over them and on the person who caused the hurt.

9. If appropriate, encourage further contact with the forgiven party

for purposes of restoration, reconciliation or restitution. In some

cases, as in sexual abuse for example, this may not be a wise thing to

do.